In January 2007, I was 24 years old, newly separated from the Air Force after serving for four years, and eight months pregnant. I had found out I was pregnant six months before my enlistment was up, right after I’d attended a job fair for Capital Police in D.C. Due to my law enforcement background in service, I had been spending my time lining up job interviews with local police departments and security firms, and had just sent in my application to the University of Maryland. Honorable discharge in hand, I was going to transition seamlessly into civilian life as I had seen many others from my squadron do, working and put myself through school. But once I found out I was having a baby and would be raising my son on my own, those plans evaporated and I was flung face first into civilian life with hardly anything set for myself.

Navigating civilian life as a pregnant woman proved to be far more difficult than I had anticipated. I was too close to having my son, and had very little experience in anything outside of police work to be hirable. I filed for unemployment and was initially rejected. I filed for disability compensation and healthcare through the Department of Veterans Affairs, but there was little they could do for me in terms of prenatal care until a decision was made on my claim, so I had to apply for social welfare benefits. I applied for Medicaid, WIC and TANF but was only eventually approved for the first two. Without any income,  I was unable to rent a place of my own and was sleeping on a friend’s couch while I tried to establish some semblance of stability before I delivered my son into the world.

Needless to say it was a very unsettling and dark season in our lives. Relations with my family were strained, I had no job & was awaiting an appeal on my unemployment decision, I was without support from my son’s father, had very little means to support myself, and sleeping on a friend’s couch. Every day things felt shaky and uncertain, with the possibility of things going even further south greeting me when I opened my eyes in the morning. As stressful and panic inducing as my circumstances were, it was bearable, or at least I forced myself to bear it because I had no other choice if I wanted us to live. I clearly remember determinining each day to keep fighting my way through every challenge and set back that arose. For the most part, I was able to maintain my resolve, but my toughest struggle for survival during that season was the lack of food available in my daily life.